| Thursday, June 19th, 2003 |
[Tue 3 Mar @ 4:44pm] |
I don't think I like apples anyway. On the other hand, I do like fire whiskey. It keeps me warm and is a good reliable friend you could never deny.
Almost made a trip to Mungo's after we packed up the carnival to move to a new location. Fucking bastards need to watch what they're doing. There are some of the dumbest people I've ever seen working here. It does take a certain kind of special to do some of these jobs.
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| June 13th, 2003 |
[Sat 24 Jan @ 6:13pm] |
You know, I almost miss having a flat sometimes, but then I remember about rent and bills and how it's just so much better for me out here. Could barely pay the fucking bills anyway, now it's all pretty much free. It's good that I've lived on the streets before. Those other mother fuckers out there sure as hell won't catch me off guard.
[Heavily Hexed to self]
Fuck. Going to meet with Marcus about Angie's glow. Fuck. This can't end well.
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| June 9th, 2003 |
[Tue 15 Jul @ 2:57pm] |
I kicked the shite out of this guy who stole from me. Stupid feck.
Hey Cliff, got a minute? I want to talk to you.
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| June 5th, 2003 |
[Tue 3 Jun @ 2:16pm] |
I got another job at a newspaper stand. Still working with the carnival but I needed something more to take up my free time. It helps keep me busy so I don't have time to think about anything else. Not to mention, I find that I drink less if I need to get up in the morning and be somewhere on a semi regular basis.
Has anyone heard from Tracey?
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| May 28th, 2003 |
[Wed 12 Mar @ 3:19pm] |
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It's a fucked up world we live in. Not everyone can be happy so there will always be someone who is willing to fight for the way they think things should be. Everyone else just has to figure out wether or not to join them or run from them, because even if victory was won, there will be another and another.
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| May 27th, 2003 |
[Mon 3 Mar @ 6:29pm] |
[Hexed private to Tracey]
Tracey, I'm glad that you're there and not here right now. It's a complete mess as maybe you've heard. I wouldn't want you to get caught up in any of it, not that you really would, just saying. I hope you've found yourself comfortable there. I haven't heard from you yet and I know that it's only been like a day or two, but I just thought I would check in. Let me know how you are.
[/hex]
[Hexed to Lucas]
I'm alive, just so you know. Marcus is too, we brought him out with us. It's a huge mess in there and I hope you don't have to see it. I know I'll never forget it.
[/hex]
[Hexed to Cliff]
Now you see why I couldn't tell you what was happening. I'm sorry, I know that you wouldn't have just let it happen because you have too much of an honest streak in you. I don't know if you want to know, but Marcus is alive and with us still. You'd probably find out eventually anyway.
[/hex]
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| May 21st, 2003 |
[Thu 29 Nov @ 4:50pm] |
There comes a time in life when you've got to chose between getting what you want and doing what is best. I guess it's easier for most people. Maybe some people can be selfish and keep what they want without it always staying on their minds. I can't though, I think I know that now and I know what I'm supposed to do.
I never thought that my life was supposed to mean much or have much substance, so I should see it coming every time things that I care deeply about are taken from me. It's a fact of life, the best things aren't free and nothing lasts forever. I know my place now and maybe now I can finally let go of everything else. Stop being so selfish and wasting my time chasing dreams and wants and wishes and come down to the reality that is life. This is what I am, why fight it?
[Hexed to Marcus]
It's all easier said than done. Give me a few weeks of getting used to this change and maybe I'll be out of your hair and off your shoulder.
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| May 17th, 2003 |
[Tue 13 Nov @ 4:53pm] |
So I wouldn't recommend the muggle prisons. Yeah, that's where I've been, in case anyone was wondering. Though I'm sure the only person that wondered was Marcus, since we live together he'd notice my absence. Yeah thanks for bailing me out Marcus. Like the money would have left a dent in your savings.
So I nearly stole a girls magazine because the fecking bint of a cashier starting beating my with it, saying crazy things like calling me a pervert and such. I just wanted to buy the fucking magazine! Is that so hard to ask?! I'm not there for your fecking opinions. It isn't your job to decide if I'm allowed to by a Cosmo or not. No, your fecking job is to scan my fecking magazine, let me pay, and go on with your fecking boring job.
Although, I have to say that Lucas coming back to save me might have been worth it. Even though he got thrown into prison along with me.
[Hexed to Tracey]
I miss you. I wish you weren't living with that fecker. I hardly know him Trace, how much do you know him. Really. I don't like this. I miss having you around. You're with him more than you're with me, and I know that's probably because you live there and all, but like I said, I really just don't know him, I can't trust him with you. I don't like you there.
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| May 7th, 2003 |
[Wed 31 Oct @ 4:55pm] |
So, anyone got an extra room for a night. Looks like I'm not allowed to the usual place. If not, I've slept on the streets before and survived. Not like it's hard to go find a park bench somewhere and crash on it.
[Hexed against Tracey]
Has anyone heard anything from Tracey? I talked to her not too long ago but I don't know where she is so I can't go visit her now. I know who she's staying with and I don't like it at all. If anyone has word or knows something she's not telling me... well hopefully you think of me as friend enough to let me know.
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[Wed 17 Oct @ 7:19pm] |
So I'm taking a good friend's advice and trying to get a better job than all the ones I normally would hold. Not knowing what the hell kind of skills I've got, I've just been applying all over. We'll see what turns up. If it's nothing, then I'll know to stick with the dirty jobs.
[Private to self]
Tracey really did it. She told her dad about her feelings and he kicked her out of her flat. I get that he's all loyal to the Dark Lord and stuff, but what about his daughter? Why should she have to suffer because of his choices. She's woman enough to make her own choices. He was running to her rescue when she was in need and now suddenly, just like that, he's turning his back on her? Who would do that to someone as amazing as Tracey?
I'm concerned though. I don't know this Regulus bloke and I don't trust him with Tracey.
I don't even know what to think about Tracey's choice. If she can tell her father that she doesn't support his choices... what does that say about how she feels about mine? She's always been accepting of me and she's never failed to be there when I needed her. What if it all starts changing? Did she think about us when she thought about the effects it would have on her and her family? Was I something that she was willing to give up when she made her choice?
I support her completely in her decision. Everyone has the right to choose their path. I'm glad she made her choice after looking into things first. What is she joins this Order? She'd be fighting against me and me against her. What then? I couldn't hurt her, never. I'd rather die at the hand of Lord Voldemort than harm her like that.
[/Private]
[Private to Cliff]
Do you know this Regulus person? Tracey is going to stay with him and I need to know if he's trustworthy. She's made her choice now, and she's no longer following her father's chosen path. I'm glad for her. She had a way out and she took it. What if I lose her?
[/Private]
[Private to Marcus]
You saw Tracey's entry?
[/Private]
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[Wed 3 Oct @ 5:12pm] |
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Well that photo shoot was certainly interesting. I'd have to say that my favorite part was when the girls did the underwear part. Yeah, that must have been what made it all worth it. You looked great in that stuff Trace, maybe she'd let you borrow some...
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[Tue 11 Sep @ 1:14pm] |
[Private to friends]
Well, Tracey told me that she's loved me since she was 16. That's insane. For that long and she just now says something about it? If only she had spoken up sooner then maybe there wouldn't have been the Eliza mess and things would have been happier and simpler. But for this entire time? She's been my best mate other than Marcus for more than half my life and I never once thought that there would be something else there besides friendship.
And you know what? I love her too. Yeah, I do. It didn't take much figuring out, but I realize that I do love her and that we fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. We've always been so damn comfortable with each other that it only makes sense that we're together. We make each other happy and understand each other so damn well. I'm glad she confessed this to me. I couldn't be happier right now.
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| April 13th 2003 |
[Mon 9 Jul @ 11:19am] |
[Hexed to Tracey]
Trace, the old bastard is gone and that bitch of a woman has been put in her place by your father. So you're safe to go home. Your father really wants to see you so make sure you check in with him alright? Otherwise he might just hunt me down thinking I'm keeping you from him. I dunno, the guy gets sorta scary sometimes.
[/Hex]
Yeup, good ole carnival life. Hey all you people, get your shite together and come to a carnival. I need to get paid. Tips are good.
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[Wed 27 Jun @ 4:19pm] |
[Hexed to Death Eaters]
Holy fuck, was that one of us? I mean seriously... was it?
[/Hex]
Here we go again. Another turn on the great merry-go-round of life.
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| April 1st. |
[Mon 25 Jun @ 11:18am] |
[hexed to Marcus]
Hey Marcus, are you free tonight or tomorrow night? We've got a few people to take the fuck out of.
[/hex]
So I'm still staying with Tracey, though I had made plans with Marcus a few weeks ago to go move in with him. I love being with Trace all the time but I've got to give her space from the male side of the world, you know, let her have a clean place like she did before I moved in. Sorry I make messes Trace; now Marcus will have to deal with it.
I found a job in that wizarding carnival that goes around England. We don't really have to name names here, I don't really want people going to see me in the fecking uniform I have to wear. I run one of their stupid games in some booth. Hey; it's a job. Pays shite though.
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[Fri 1 Jun @ 11:32am] |
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Uh, Trace. I know it uh well... anyway, I'll just tell you in person. I've got something for you. Nothing huge and exciting but just thought I should tell you.
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[Mon 14 May @ 9:12pm] |
So I'm out of my old flat and staying with Tracey for awhile. Until... I get a new job and move back somewhere else I guess? I don't really have plans for things like that just yet. I'm still recovering from... well from things that shook my world to put it simply. Anyway. It's good to be with someone. To have the company and all. It started to get lonely at my old place. Especially after... Eliza Eliza le she Eliza left me well after Eliza hasn't been there in... well anyway.
So hopefully I can get myself back together soon and get my head back. Then I could look for a job and such.
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[Mon 9 Apr @ 12:02pm] |
I think it’s the end of the line. A very thin line too. I’ve always been able to find a way to survive off of absolutely nothing, but I think my luck has run out and I’m faced with the harsh reality of my situation and the fact that I don’t have anything to fall back on. No back-up plans as usual. Normally I’m able to just think of myself and take care of number one, but ever since losing her recent events, my mind won’t stay focused on one thing for long enough to make anything solid of it. Anyway… just thought I ought to write down things before there isn’t anything left to write.
Marcus; if you want your furniture back, you should come and get it before I sell it before the end of the month when rent would be due for February.
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| January 21st |
[Sun 11 Feb @ 4:40pm] |
Written sloppily and carelessly.
Finally found this piece of fucking shit... not that I really tried to look for it at all...
Haven't ben to work for what... 6 days now... some shit like that.. don't remember. don't give a fuck. was already on my last chance there. so it's over...
doesnt bleeding matter fuck that fuck money fuck you
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| January 15th. |
[Fri 26 Jan @ 11:02pm] |
Work has slowed to a halt. Guess the attack scared people enough to stay home instead of randomly going out to buy books... we've even got employees that haven't shown up to work, though Granger was in the hospital from all accounts. Heard she got whipped.
Well, I think things have been pretty quiet and I'm not about to sit around hiding from possibilities when I could be out living my life.
( {Hexed private: only Marcus and Tracey could read.} )
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[Mon 27 Nov @ 3:11pm] |
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Well, I've actually been back to work for awhile now. Even though I'm back, they're watching my every move like hawks. Guess they have a good reason to. Punching a customer in the face could earn that kind of attention. I guess I should be glad that I still have a job. Not like I wouldn't be able to find another one. More like I might be too lazy to find one, but we all need money and to be more acceptable in society, it's pretty much required. Besides, I need to take my girl out and need money for that. So yeah, I guess I'd have found another job pretty quickly if I had lost this one. Damn book store. What kind of a job is that? I don't even much like the people I work with. I'm not a book worm, I don't know much about any of the books there, let alone the authors that come in for signings sometimes. Oh well, pays the bills and I did meet Eliza there. So it wasn't such a bad thing over all.
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[Tue 10 Oct @ 7:41am] |
Brilliant, just got suspended from work. Got the whole 'we'll call you when you can come back' speech. I fecking can't stand these bloody wankers that come in and start shite with me; fecking muggles. You know nothing you bastards! Fecking bastards! Bunch of bollocks... the wanker deserved my fist in his ugly face!
Hmm... still got that fire wiskey around here somewhere. I know Flint left it here.
{Poorly hexed Private (Miles isn't exactly sober)}
Tracey, I wish I could see right now. I could tell you my bloody problems and you would somehow make it better. Why can't I go see you? Are you still with Rabastan? Do you bloody love him? Do you love him more than you love me? Is that why you haven't come back to me?
{/Private}
Hope you don't read this Eliza, pretty pathetic to not have a job right?
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[Sat 16 Sep @ 12:11am] |
{Hexed against Tracey}
Well fuck. Do I really ignore everything around me and chase skirts night and day? Just goes to show why people should keep others at arms length, that way they can't get close enough to stab you in the back.
What the hell, I didn't know I was such an inconsiderate friend. Wish I had known before, then I would have never tried to show I care.
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[Wed 6 Sep @ 10:00am] |
Shit. My flat caught fire last night and so now I've moved down the hall. Just to let you people who would ever come my way know. I'm in number 14 now instead of 11. Luckily it didn't burn up my things, because I would have to be walking around completely starkers, even though I know you would all just love to see that right? So since the fire was my fault started in my flat, I have to pay for the damages, which means that I owe more than just last month's rent, bloody fecking brilliant isn't it? I'm a genius, you just don't know it. So if you don't hear from me after awhile, it means that I've starved to death.
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[Tue 1 Aug @ 1:38pm] |
Sodding Hell. Can’t they keep paper away from the wanker? The loony old coot sent another death note, though this one was actually a little different than the rest. He actually took the time to mention my funeral. If this continues any longer than this, I just might go there myself and silence him. I haven’t complained to the Mungo's because, quite frankly, they’re just about as loony and really, is it that big of a deal?
It’s really actually fun to send back a photo of me giving the bird. I’m sure he loves those, the only pictures of his son; he’s got to be hanging them on his wall by now. Seriously though, I’ll just drop it. I’m wasting my ink.
As for work, it’s mundane as hell but it’s job that didn’t require much when I went through looking for one. Yes… I work at Flourish and Blotts, isn’t it just bloody amazing? Go ahead, laugh, mock, do what ever you need to get it out of your system. Just make sure you do get it out of your system, because if it’s one thing I can’t stand, is a sodding prat on my back.
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